Class Relax on Zoom

Preparation has been ongoing with my colleagues in the Non-Profit ‘Safat haKeshev‘ (Language of Attention) since last March, but truly, I’d hoped that it was a skill that would remain on the back burner. However, there I was, creating WhatsApp groups, google classrooms and and intro clip all leading up to my first Zoom sessions yesterday with more to come this week.

You might wonder what sort of preparation goes into a mindfulness lesson. Well, this teacher of mindfulness is hoping to offer a feng shui experience to pupils overloaded with Zoom-learning.

With welcome bits of digital decoration via bitmojis and tutorials (like EZ Ed tech or Digitally Yours with Adele) on tricks to make zoom life easier, how to use virtual backgrounds, combing through sundry suggestions of apps that might work for mindfulness, and then constant experimentation to discover what suits me, my well-known propensity for creating and then re-doing powerpoint presentations has filled up these busy few weeks.

Judih bitmoji breathes out, breathes in

And then Class Day arrived!

The zoom invitation having been issued, I re-issued it and then witnessed questions like “What?- is it today?” and a few last minute joiners needed to receive private invitations and finally, I anticipated my first Grade 8 mindfulness 2-hour workshop to begin at 8:40 a.m. (a little early for these kids, I thought). Yet of the 9 who had signed up to participate, I welcomed 15. This was to be a continuing trend as I saw with the grade 9 class which followed at 10:20. The original group of 18 magically became 27 names in the Zoom room.

Tech info: The hours of preparation resulted in my being able to use my powerpoint slide presentation either as a background (during which I appeared as a small screen in front of the slide) or via ‘shared screen’. During both scenarios I had a few surprises. My ‘wheel of names’ an app offering a wheel which upon clicking rotates until stopping at a given point, didn’t work as background, but did as I shared my screen.

Note to self: annotation only works in ‘shared screen’ mode (which I guess I could have guessed beforehand).

However, in favour of ‘sharing powerpoint as background’, I loved that presenter in front of the slideshow look. I felt almost pro, as if I knew what I was doing.

Surprises that had nothing to do with me: Kids turned off their cameras which apparently is their go-to way of Zooming. Truthfully, my University daughter had informed me that of course they would zoom that way. My asking for feedback several times indicated that a majority of the participants were, in fact, present!
During the second half of the lesson when I divided them into breakout rooms to discuss their expectations for our mindfulness semester, I saw who was actually present, so that helped me as a teacher.

Good points? I had fun. I was feeling the first day of school excitement, and I was interested to see what worked and what didn’t. Also, I knew beforehand that hearing their expectations would focus us all on how to use this platform to fulfill their needs.
Points for improvement? Deciding if I can adjust to feeling more at ease with those black screens with names (like masks over the masks in a way) or if I need more visual information and if so, how to get it. I have a few ideas involving sending me private whatsapp images of a task which I’ll assign during the lesson.

Thoughts? I wonder how many other mindfulness teachers are working with Junior High students via Zoom. How are they finding things?

This week, I’ll meet the 7th grade students for the first time. I have 3 classes to experience but only of one hour each. Then we’ll slowly move through a semester that will last till the end of January.

Ohm and may we enjoy our time to use Zoom to relax and focus within.

The legend of “Just relax!”

“Just relax!”

If you’re a teacher, or if you’ve ever sat in a classroom, then perhaps this post is for you.

Has a teacher ever used such a command with a pupil? First may come “just relax” and then, perhaps, “It’ll all be okay”.  And thinking s/he’s done her best to handle the pupil’s current lack of relaxation,  will move on to the next restless pupil, and offer the same piece of advice, and then continue on to yet another pupil with super-sensitivity to the actions or voices of others, and who seems to be losing any chance of coping, again the magic words (or so it’s believed): “Just relax”.

Nope, no good. Surely we’ve noticed. “Just relax” works just as poorly on a child as it does on us, ourselves, if someone with all the best intention uses a voice that radiates anything but calmness to suggest that we “just relax.” No! The order does not magically induce the condition.

Looking into the trend of Mindfulness, the teacher might try, “Just breathe” and without offering a model of what that entails, again will move on to the next pupil.

And so it goes. Our hopeful teacher moves from one node of noise to the next, hoping to soothe the general atmosphere sufficiently to be able to carry on with instructions for the classroom task scheduled for that lesson.

The truth is, however, that “Just relax!” and “Just breathe!” offer abstract commands, representing skills that haven’t been taught to most of the pupils in the room. Therefore, the words aren’t effective in transforming a nervous child into one more calm and ready to listen.

So, let’s all just stop.

A good intention needs a better method

What, then, instead? What can we do when pupils occupying the space that we’re calling our classroom are unable to stop talking,  stop fidgeting, stop yelling at their neighbour to stop whistling, blowing, tapping their desk, etc.

What can we, as teachers, realistically do to orchestrate a lovely few seconds of silence?

Well, this teacher of mindfulness for kids, has a few ideas. Guaranteed, no matter what? I cannot promise 100% success, but I can offer you something pro-active to do instead of turning your back on the class, examining the wall or whiteboard and thinking non-politically correct thoughts, or even letting tears of frustration fall.

So, let’s get started.

1. Listen to the Room.
   Get their attention for a second – either by turning on and off the lights, or using a short whistle, or a Tibetan Singing Bowl if you’ve got one, or Tibetan gongs (easy to buy online and very lightweight to carry). After that second of silence, go into action. Tell them to “listen to the room”.  After 30 seconds or so, make the sound or lights on/off again and announce “End of the exercise”. Ask them, “Who was able to hear sounds in the room? Put up your hand if you could.” Then acknowledge that they could hear or not, both responses are perfectly fine. Tell them you’re doing it again – and this time, they might want to close their eyes. Give them the signal and tell them to “Listen to the room.” After 45 seconds, signal the end of the exercise and ask again who was able to hear the room. Usually more pupils have been able to hear things (voices, air conditioner, breathing, whatever – it’s all good. )  If you like, if you want to, teacher dears, you may try it for a 3rd time. When I do, I say, “We’re going to do it for a 3rd time, but this time, I’m going to give you an added instruction.” I give the signal and suggest that they can close their eyes or not. “Listen to the room”. After about 30 seconds, I invite them to notice how their shoulders feel, if there’s any tension. Then to notice their hands and their backs. I signal the end of the exercise. And ask them to raise their hands if they want to share something about the exercise. One at a time, and maximum 5 or 6 – after that, the attention goes down.  Upside: You’ve had a few consecutive seconds of quiet in the room – you’ve enjoyed it, and maybe others have as well. The memory of that quiet is something you can build upon! Downside: Actually, I haven’t found a downside – those few quiet seconds are always an ‘up’ for me.

2. Offer a guided meditation
If the pupils experience it once, they will ask for it again. I have some on the Class Relax site here. The shortest is The White Horse (adapted from the marvellous Prof. Elliot Eisner who always advocated the inclusion of art in the classroom, may his memory be blessed), but I also have Guided Imagery Golden Light (taken from Osho) and Guided Imagery in Nature with soothing background music.

Guided imagery is an invitation to leave the current situation, put their heads down on their desks or just to close their eyes and follow the voice. For a few minutes, they can allow their imaginations to take hold and help them take a short trip into a quiet space, a restful space.
Upside: a few minutes quiet. If you’re guiding them yourself, allow yourself to travel with your own voice, have a script ready. If you’re allowing yourself the privilege of joining them while listening to my voice (or another voice if you find a favourite), enjoy. Teacher, enjoy, rest, take this delicious break. Even if you’re the only one in the room to let yourself be guided, you will benefit and therefore, the pupils will benefit.

3. Sensory Delight
Lavender eye cushions, or little bags of scented lavender.  Pass out these scented little bags (easily made or available for order online) and instruct your pupils to sense the weight in their hands, to feel the size of the cushion/pouch – how large, how small. Then to smell it and allow themselves to close their eyes and enjoy the fragrance.

That’s it – a fragrant moment in life. No strings, no tests, no tension. Simple, delicious fragrance. Why lavender? It seems to be mostly universal in its delight. You are welcome to try other scents like mint, or jasmine, or lemongrass.

I wish you luck, dear teachers, in using these suggestions to offer  you a path towards hosting a ‘Relaxing” moment in your classroom.  Wishing for relaxation is the first step, but here are things you can do to make your wish come true! You can offer a simple task to ease your pupils into a more relaxed space, internally.
And once there is internal quiet, your pupils just might enjoy the experience sufficiently to want to repeat it.

I hope you can use these suggestions. Please write me if you have questions.

Have a wonderful day!

Judih

Class Relax explores the Senses

The lovely students of Grade 9 arrived at the appointed hour in our cozy Relaxation room. They removed shoes, silenced their phones and selected a place to sit.

What are we doing today?

“I” asked: Did you bring the kalimba?
“A” asked: Will we be drawing?

I answered: Today we will be working with our senses.

“Y” said: taste?

I answered: Also taste.

The kids were into it.

We sat, worked with simple breathing exercises such as the finger train – going up and down the five fingers with the in breath and out breath.

We did some simple qigong breathing exercises. And then we surveyed the room to share our state of being and how our week had been.

The room took on a feeling of listening and mutual interest.

We began with taste.

I offered each one a date and we experienced the sensation in the hand, the texture, the temperature, the colour, the weight. We held it up to our nose to smell the date. We touched it to our lips for a more sensitive feel. Then we put it in our mouth, licked it, took one bite and felt the texture, the sensation on our teeth, the taste and how it travelled down our throat. Those who wanted to, finished it. I collected the seeds and unfinished dates and we washed our hands and sat down.

Some comments: “I don’t like eating this way.” “I like eating this way, it’s cool.”

“I’d never eat anything if I had to eat like this.”

The variation of personalities, again in the spotlight.

Next, we divided into pairs, each receiving a small collection of tactile items. One partner was to experience, with closed eyes, the sensation of each item and give it a rating: 10 for extremely pleasant and 1 for intolerable, or anywhere in between. The other partner was to select each item and touch their partner on their inner arm or cheek, whatever worked.

And they began the experiment. I visited each group. “A” called almost everything a “9”, another “A” called out much lower numbers. The partners switched roles and afterwards made a comparison to see how their ratings compared.

I asked: Why did we do this exercise? Answer: To get to know what we like.

Q: When can we use this in our lives? Answer: When we want to feel nice.

And we stopped for a tea break.

We then moved on to back massages, using small styrofoam balls to exert a kind of acupressure to points on the back. I directed them to gently approach their partner and wait for a kind of “Yes” as to the intensity of touch. The act of massage is a privilege – and an opportunity to really listen to someone else.

We then set aside the balls and wiped clean the back. We used our fingertips to tap on the back – first like raindrops, then drumming. Small fists slow and then faster. And then wrote letters on the back for the partner to guess.

We wiped our backs clean and switched roles.

The atmosphere was relaxed and focused. The students were delighted and felt the nourishment of attention to the body.

A session exploring the sensation of touch, taste and smell is a perfect remedy for hot weather. Also, now into June, school is closing down, the tension of exams is over for these kids, and they need a way to transition into other pursuits.

I invite all teachers to participate in such a session. Returning to the body is a return to the notion of simplicity and inner quiet.

 

Listening

Listening
It can take many forms.

Listening to someone speaking. Listening to sounds of others. Listening to music, to birds, to the wind in the leaves. Listening to the general sound effects in the world around us.

It can also be listening to a partner, even without speech. We can listen to ourselves and the feelings that suddenly appear within. We can listen to our thoughts, without being swept away.

This week we mixed it all up: Listening to sounds around us, listening to a guiding voice. And listening to a silent partner while working on a mandala.
How to work together without speaking?

And at the sound of a handclap, how to give up the drawing you were working on, and receive someone else’s. No matter what we received, our work was to carry on with our partner on this new mandala.

And so we went around the circle till each pair received their original mandala. How did it feel to get it? Was there emotion? What did we think? How did it feel inside?

Our Mindfulness session offers a chance for checking out what goes on inside us when we feel something is ‘ours’ and someone else enters our territory. Fascinating.

Update:

One week later, at the beginning of our session and going around the circle, each participant was asked to share something good that happened to them that week. M said: the exercise we did, working on the Mandalas with our partners and with the others in the room. And she smiled!

This facilitator smiled! A good feeling when thinking about her experience during that session was a delightful affirmation. Especially to me when I had seen her face at the end of the exercise and I hadn’t been able to pick up on her thoughts.

Music!

Here’s some relaxing music for you to enjoy while engaging in doing or simply being.

May 17th 2018, the Unwelcome Guest

In our workshop for 9th Graders, we have been talking about listening – to things, sounds, to people in our environment and to ourselves.

In particular, we’ve been observing what happens inside of us when someone infringes on our territory. Territory includes our physical space, when someone gets too close or our sphere of listening – when someone is too loud or talks too much when we need silence. It could be that someone else triggers our emotions and we feel that they’ve hit upon an overly sensitive point.

One way of dealing is to ignore the problem and hope it goes away. 

The clip: “The Unwelcome Party Guest” deals with such a situation and what happens when we shut out something or someone.  Does that solve the situation?
We watched the clip and then arrived at some interesting points when we discussed what we had seen.
Take a look, and see what you think:

Our discussion was interesting, as usual! We have such a diversity of participants that we tend to hit a large variety of points of view.

We spoke of how Brian, the neighbour, is a metaphor for so many other things: like homework we need to do but procrastinate, or a job we have to do and shove to the bottom of our to do list, or even an emotion that we’d rather not confront.

How did the party-giver finally deal with the problem of a neighbour he didn’t want to attend his party?

He tried to kick him out, deny him entry until he realized that he himself was missing out on a great party. He decided he’d let whatever happened happen and see what transpired.

In the end, Brian, indeed reappeared, but truly wasn’t as bad as expected. Yes, he was loud and rude and stinky but he was also amusing and people were laughing, and the party-giver realized that in reality, Brian was basically okay!

What did it take to make the switch?

N said: he released his opinion

M said: he made a decision

So, why don’t we do that more often?

It’s hard.  We don’t like to change.

It’s habitual actions.

Yes, it’s comfortable and familiar if we do things the old way.

That led us to a discussion of what it takes to form a new habit.

Not a few months, not a year, not just after a resolution, but, but scientific evidence cites even 3 weeks of faithfully performing a new action can provide enough repetition for our brain to re-wire and adopt the new habit.

Three Weeks – or at least that’s what some say. Is it true? Only we can determine if that’s true for us, or true for one particular habit.

But first, can we investigate our old habitual responses?

Homework: what makes us angry? Let’s see if we can detect what triggers us? And then we’ll go on from there.

Paying Attention – with a twist

We began with a short breathing meditation.

Then I opened:
“Do you remember what we spoke about last week?”

Um, we did a meditation.

It was TUZA?

We listened to the singing bowl.

We had to answer 3 questions.

“Yes, we did. We were talking about ‘paying attention’. We read a quote stating that you can’t really listen to anybody while doing something else.”

They remembered.

“Then, we divided into pairs and we listened to our partner speak about a time when someone wasn’t really listening to them. Do you remember?”

Nods.

“Today, I invite you to share if you’d like, how you felt during a time when you wanted to share something and the person wasn’t really paying attention.”

I offered our talking piece to the first girl. A spoke about how it’s discouraging when a friend doesn’t really pay attention, but on the other hand, she, herself, finds it hard to really pay attention all the time.

Now, our talking piece is a lovely soft crocheted ball stuffed with loosely packed sand. She passed it over to R who wanted to comment.  R agreed with A and added that it all depends. If the person is talking about something interesting, then it’s easier to pay attention. Or if it’s a good  friend speaking then she’ll pay attention.  But if not, it’s a lot harder.

She pummeled the little talking piece on her knee while she finished and to my dismay, the sand started to leak. (an unfortunate development being I love that little ball for its comfort value)

Another A wanted to comment, but I needed to take the talking piece out of circulation..

“Please pass me the ball.”  I mirrored what had been said so far, asking them if that was what they’d intended. Meanwhile I selected  a different talking piece: a red foam rubber ball which also doubles as a clown nose.  I passed the piece to A.

The other A was quite sure of what she wanted to say. She began by informing us that she was going to say something that she’d never told anyone before. Then she promptly put on the red nose. This, clearly, was her ally to proceed.  A few girls laughed and she, herself, giggled but didn’t hesitate and went on to speak about a boy who’d let her down in a massive betrayal of her trust and how awful she felt.

Someone else wanted to speak. Again, the red nose was put in position and this time, the girl spoke of how a good friend had spread a secret even though she’d been sworn to secrecy.

Another girl wanted to speak and say that she didn’t trust the people in the room and so there were many things she wouldn’t be saying. Certain things were only for certain friends’ ears.

The nose.

The magic of the nose.

Girls were sharing their true thoughts and they were eager to do so.

Once upon a time, I’d conducted a women’s creative drama group. We used masks

(more specifically a specially-made papier mache monkey mask  similar to this )

This mask was license to share, to purge, to release secrets and feelings that had been silent due to lack of an accepted venue for their expression.

How wonderful it had been back then to be able to express! And to embellish!  

The red nose offered a similar protection. One small item to disguise one’s everyday image offered license to share.

Tea Time

Soon it was time for tea and discussion. A few girls organized the preparation and then we spoke about tea: where it came from, how it came to our room, how the actual cup of tea was made, and how we might appreciate the warmth in our hand, the scent of the tea and the taste.

I suddenly felt the presence of a  teaching moment. I took the talking piece and waited for their attention:

“We have an opportunity here to pay attention to the moments of our lives, to value the fact that here in this room we are safe to do so, to pay attention to ourselves, to others. Here, we can be quiet enough to listen and to notice when we aren’t paying attention. This place is unusual and rare. Take advantage of these sessions of ours, for they are unlike any other classes you take in school. “

If the girls heard me? I don’t know.

But the atmosphere was such that the feelings were good.

Homework: Their task was to listen to someone they didn’t like. Someone who is generally hard to listen to. Pay attention to what happens as they make the effort to listen.

Had they heard me? They had! Would they do it? To be seen!

Happy New Year to all. May we pay attention to the beautiful things among us, and appreciate the love that is offered as it’s offered, in whichever form.

“We can’t control the waves, but we can learn to surf.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn

Listening to One Another

 

It’s a straight forward act: to listen to someone else speaking. We all engage in it. Sometimes we listen to a friend or a family member. Sometimes, we need to listen to instructions from someone we don’t know or from a clip on youtube.

We all do it. We all think nothing of it when we’re asked to listen.

Yet, what really happens inside our mind when we set out to listen to someone else tell us something.

This week, we set out to explore the act of listening.

Instructions: in pairs. One tells the other about someone important in her/his life. The partner listens, with an open heart (concept we’re working on) without interrupting except for perhaps a nod or a ‘mmm’. Two minutes. Go

Sharing. Tell each other: how it was to tell the other person something without them interrupting you? How was it to listen without interrupting?

Role Switch

Telling, listening and Sharing

Back to Full circle: Who would like to share?

Me: How was it to tell your partner about someone important to you?

Pupils: “Good.” “Okay.” “Regular – no difference.”

Me: How was it to listen without interrupting?

Pupils: “Good.” “Okay.” Clearly the girls were far more talkative during the exercise than in the full circle.

Me: Did you learn anything new about yourself?

Pupils: “I like to listen.” “Not really.”

Next stage.

Me: It’s not that easy to simply  listen.  Often, thoughts pop into our minds and we miss what the other person is saying. Let’s try an experiment.

I’m going to tell you a story about something that happened to someone important to me. I’ll speak for 2 minutes. Your job is to listen. When a thought suddenly pops into your mind, raise your finger, then lower it.

Is it clear? Listen to me. When a thought (a finger popped up) pops up in your mind, raise your finger then lower it.

Go.

A  just broke up with her (finger pop) boyfriend. She and he decided to split up even though (finger) there were still good feelings between them. (Fingers popped). Now, A is crying all the (fingers) time and is calling herself stupid (finger) for breaking up (fingers) with him (finger) (finger). I told her to think (finger) about why she decided to break up and if the reasons (finger) were still true for her. She said she did that  (fingers) but couldn’t stop crying. I  suggested that what if a friend told her the story of breaking up. What would she say to her friend? Would she call her friend stupid? (finger) Or would she know what to say to her?

Time.

Me: How was that for you?

I noticed that after a while, there were fewer fingers raised. Was it easier to listen to me?

Pupils: (nodding their heads) Yes

Me: Why do you think?

Pupils: “I wanted to hear.”
“I felt a connection.”

Me: Ah. How do you think you could use that in your life?

Pupil: “If we want to learn something, a teacher needs to make a connection to our lives.”

Others agreed with her.

Me: Yes, true.

But what if we don’t have a teacher like that. Is there anything we could do? I wondered if maybe we ourselves could make the connection.

Pupil: “We could hate the teacher – that would make the connection!”

Me: Ah, yes. What else could we do? Let’s think about it.

Observations

This act of active listening and actively finding connections is a skill that needs to be cultivated.

What’s interesting about this exercise is not only had I planned it ahead of time, but during our warm-up meeting, one girl said that she had an idea for an exercise: to listen to someone talking!

Further comments: With this age group, 13-14,  it’s important to build the lesson gently. No attempt to forcefeed concepts. Each moment of input needs to be encouraged. No negativity in the room.

Example: A few girls rallied around R who decided I had deliberately favoured one girl over her. I guess that this is the default method of analyzing teacher motivation.

I wonder, how to help cultivate the notion of taking responsibility for our perceptions of reality.

Case-study R and the end of lesson relaxation session.

R had gone to the bathroom and when she returned, all the cushions had been claimed. One girl, Y,  had two small cushions which she put together as one. 

R was upset. She wanted one of Y’s cushions. I indicated the available mattresses. R would have none of it. She wanted a cushion and was determined that I’d tell Y to give it up.

Not seeing the reason to make Y uncomfortable and feeling that R was being stubborn with no reason, I agreed when R decided to sit it out and then leave the room.

The next week: R brings up the subject of the cushion and how I hadn’t insisted on Y giving it up. Clearly, this situation has been a source of frustration and conversation for the previous week. 

Happily,  I got a chance to explain that using a mattress for relaxation is the best option! I thought I was offering her something ideal. I had no intention of making her dissatisfied.

The girls didn’t quite understand how a flat mattress for relaxation could be better than a lumpy pouf.  They compared it to everyone getting to eat chocolate and I offering one girl toffee. How could toffee possibly be a better option?

Clearly, this will take more than one explanation and even then, it might remain something that we’ll have to agree to disagree upon until they reach an age where their body really appreciates a flat mattress on the ground.

R also asked: Can you teach us how to not let bad things bother us?

R is plagued by anxiety. She’s an ADHD child with comorbidities, also involving impulse control. Knowing her only a few short weeks I can only celebrate when she smiles and likes what we do in class. However, her reaction to relaxation is giggling and it’s almost impossible for her to refrain from disturbing others.  This makes it difficult for the other girls to get into relaxation mode. How to handle such a girl in my session?

Would love to speak to others working with such heterogeneous groups.

Thanks for reading!

Judih

It’s Purim – So, What Do You Want to Do?

Monday morning.  The day of the Nofei Habsor Purim party.

The Jr. high students were in school that morning ‘studying.’ That evening was their Purim party. Just for them. The high school kids weren’t invited: they would be celebrating the following day.

From first thing in the morning,  there had been anonymous gifting of packages of candies. Loads of sugar had been consumed before our 10:15 Mindfulness session.

Me? Ready for them, ready to see how to apply the language of attentiveness to their moods, whatever they might be!

The girls began to enter the space. Shoes were discarded, phones placed in backpacks. Each took a seat in the circle.

sitting circle

We began in silence and then I asked about homework. Had they remembered to notice their breathing for a 2 minute interval? Some had! The number was growing.

Instructions: “Focus on the sound of the Tibetan Singing Bowl. There might be noises from the lobby or from outside. Still, listen to the sound of the bowl.”

Like clockwork, the moment I rang the bowl, there was a huge uproar in the lobby.

After the sound subsided, we talked about it.

Testing ourselves is the way we learn. We can’t always have perfect circumstances, and so we adjust our attention. If our mind wanders, when we notice it, we bring it back. That’s our task.

The room began to get quieter. The girls were thoughtful but then one voice: “Can we do something special for Purim?”

I’ve planned a few options, I said, opening a window.

When I call out your name, tell  me what you’d like to do today!

I went around the circle, and wrote down their requests: dancing, playing games, colouring mandalas, drinking tea, eating.

Ah, I observed, it seems like what you’d like is ‘Kindergarten’!

Yes, they agreed!

I nodded agreement. Okay. There’s room for dancing, game playing, colouring.

The only stipulation: when I ring the Tibetan Singing Bowl, you’ll stop what you’re doing and be quiet.

Okay!

We cleared the central space and I brought out the CD player for the first game: Musical Chairs!

One girl took over the music.  And the game was on. Lots of energy was released.

The dancing continued.

I set up a colouring corner: outlines of faces and the girls’ files in case they wanted to work on half-finished mandala work. I provided coloured pencils

I sat and observed.

Judih’s in shock! commented one girl.

No, not at all! I said.  I took great interest in watching the dynamics.

One girl chose to sit on the huge exercise ball to bounce while she was colouring.

They gravitated into smaller groups. The dancers flopped on cushions to speak. The colourers broke into two groups: those who worked in silence, the other who  worked together.

Then the dancers turned on the music for the all-time favourite: Bubbly

They all joined in.

Then back to their stations.

I rang the bell after a while to capture a moment of silence.

They paused then continued.

A second time, I rang the bowl and signaled for them to come and stand round me in a circle. I invited them to notice their feet on the floor, their bodies. To take some large breaths, exhaling to the soles of their feet and then a nourishing inhale, and again. Then I invited them to notice how it felt to be stopped from doing what they were previously doing.

I invited them to go back to their activities in that mindful way.

The day of the Purim party. A little attention to being, to listening. And a homework assignment to send me pictures of themselves in costume!

And so a day of the Language of Attentiveness.

Far from radical, but still an experiment in adapting mindfulness to a real life situation.

My observations

Mindfulness is a living, breathing skill. It’s relevant. It’s not static, not the same everyday or in every situation. It is what is at the present moment. It is composed of change and risk-taking and quiet and frustration and too much sugar. No circumstance is the ‘wrong’ one. We notice what is and the more we accept what ‘is’ at that moment, the kinder we can be and more able to live our life more fully.

 

Listening!

“Relax!”

The order is released:  from the teacher’s mouth to the students’ ears. Sometimes, the voice is calming, sometimes it comes across as a screech tossed into an abstract sea of noise.

What do we expect will occur?

The best case scenario:  each pupil takes the command to heart and implements it however best suits her or him at that moment. This student would have studied all situations and all physical, mental and emotional reactions and would know at that instant, what adjustments are required in order to fulfill the teacher’s demand.

“Relax” says the teacher, and the student responds with relaxation.

How many adults could do it? How many know how to respond with relaxation when asked?

Have you practiced and experimented with your body in order to know just what you need to do in order to implement relaxation on cue?

Why do we expect it from our students?

Simi Levy in her course “Safat HaKeshev” The Language of Attentiveness reminds us that telling someone to relax is no guarantee that they have a clue how to do it.

Therefore, it must be a skill taught, just like how to hold a pencil or how to raise your hand instead of shouting out a question or answer.

And this is a skill that needs to be practiced, constantly. A few times during a classroom lesson and often throughout the day.

Often we demand that they “‘Listen!”

Is this a simple thing? What about those pupils who occupy a chair at a desk but whose minds are a million miles away, chasing the past, investigating dreams, or rehearsing potential futures.

Listening and relaxing are both teachable skills.

Safat haKeshev can instill the skill of listening, without judgement. We can teach the art of focusing on something whether it is a voice, a text or another’s presence, and when we happen to notice that we’ve lost concentration, how to be kind to ourselves and come back to try again. All this is what we must teach our pupils in order to help them develop into fully flowering adults.

This Week’s Class in the Language of Attentiveness – 8th graders

Listening to a Partner

This week’s theme was listening to the sounds around us, to my instructions, to a partner.

The Exercise

• Materials: Pupils counting off into ‘1’s and ‘2’s

• Thin wooden skewers

• A timer

• 

Method:

Pupils were partnered – a 1 with a 2

Each 1 was given a skewer

The exercise was to hold the skewer between them using their forefingers. The object was to keep it between them, not to allow it to fall. They needed to keep in mind that one end of the skewer was pointed and to be conscious of maintaining painless pressure.

The 1s began as the leader, moving their fingers in the space while the 2s were to be attentive followers. 

After 2 minutes, they changed. 2s led while 1s followed.

After 2 minutes, they were to take turns and whoever felt like taking the lead would do so.

No talking was allowed.

……

After 2 minutes, the couples stopped. Shared their experiences and came back to the circle to share with the group if they chose to.

Comments:

It was fun

It was interesting

It was annoying. She didn’t do what I did. The skewer fell all the time.

I didn’t like it. The skewer hurt. We had to change halfway so that she’d get the pointy end.

I wanted to be really adventurous, not jut stay in the little space, but she didn’t follow.

Me: Isn’t this interesting! Here we had 2 people who agreed to listen to one another. Some of you did so and others didn’t. How did it feel when your partner didn’t listen? Annoying, Frustrating. Did some of you get angry?

Isn’t this just how it is in our lives?

How many times do we want to say something to someone and they can’t hear us, or they don’t understand us?

It happens, doesn’t it?

How does it make you feel?

This exercise is designed to help us see what happens inside of us, when we’re listening to a partner. How much do we have to give up. How much do we have to try harder?

And how do we feel when we are able to listen, or to be heard?

 

Fascinating! A mini-sample of our everyday lives.

Back to individual Focus

We came back to simple focus using the Singing Bowl. And then I took a scan of the room.  How many of you are energetic? Many hands.  How many of you are tired? A few hands.

I decided to regulate the energy via Movements. I invited them into the floorspace. We went into a brief  T’ai Chi warm-up concentrating on loosening up and then balance. Then we did some of the Chi Cong cutta: 8 pieces of Brocade to recenter their energies.

Most of them were with me, then slowly one by one went back to sit down, to watch, to rest. Half stayed on and they smiled at the end of the session.

Drawing mandalas.

The girls were happy to move onto quiet colouring in of mandalas. They chose the one they wanted and selected coloured pencils.

 Dynamics  were changing in the group. Many girls were chatty. One in particular who in general suffers from exclusion from social happenings, was extra bubbly.

I asked them to try to lower their volume. At one point I rang the Tibetan Singing Bowl to bring them to a ‘freeze’ to notice their bodies on the chair or on the cushion. Then they resumed their work. 

We were invited to drink chai, prepared by A and N and Y, complete with beautiful signs and a thoughtful arrangement of the cups.

End of Session

We went back to the circle to discuss the morning.

Conclusions: The girls shared what they’d learned.

We need to work on listening to one another.

We promise to be less boisterous during our next session.

I told them that yes, the energy had been high, but how that was fine. This is how we are and this is how we practice. Right now, no matter what our mood. There’s no need to wait till we’re calm or ‘shanti’. This is how we practice. Mindfulness is exactly for how we are at this moment.And it’s good! This is our laboratory for studying the workings of our mind and body. This is how we develop our muscle for attentiveness.

We parted with smiles.

…………

As a teacher, my job is to reflect all that is, is! And this particular lesson had been fascinating in its potential for learning.

 

Semester conclusion

The last meeting of Semester One.

I had plans.

Tea and a communal drawing.

I planned that one pupil would volunteer to lie down on a large piece of bristol board so that we could sketch the outline of his upper body. I imagined that then we’d have a group colouring session in which we’d all take turns drawing the areas of the body. Perhaps chakras, perhaps not.

This was not to be. The pupils assured me that if J hadn’t been sick that day, he  would have happily volunteered to be sketched, but alas with his absence, the body sketch remained a dream.

And so we began with tea. One pot was filled with lemon grass and mint. The other with ‘Sheba’ and lemon grass.

I introduced the final meditation: on the taste of figs. I brought out a plate of dried figs.

I guided them. “First, examine them visually, then select one. Pick it up. Look at the colours, the form. Sense the texture, the size, the shape with your fingers. Now, smell the fig. When you’re ready, bite into it. Feel the fig on your teeth, your tongue.

What do you feel? What do you taste? Notice it before you swallow.

If you don’t like it, you can put it back.”

Our task was to notice: pleasant or unpleasant and all the components that went into that experience.

Apparently only I like figs. All the figs minus one bite, returned to the plate. I ate mine after class!

Then, we went into a Semester review.

What was your favourite exercise?

M: I loved colouring

R: I liked drinking tea

Me: Did you enjoy the relaxation exercises lying down on the mats?

I got 4 yes-es and 1 no. The ‘no’ was because of a distinct distrust of the cleanliness of the mats.

Me: If you had brought your own sheet to cover the mat?

M: No

Me: If you had brought your own yoga mat?

M: Maybe

Note: When we, as teacher-students in our training course for Safat HaKeshev, were told to lie down on cushions or on the floor, we never worried or fussed. Perhaps it was because we trusted the space.  Perhaps this was because living our lives in the real world, where absolute sterility doesn’t exist, it was a non-issue. Perhaps it was because we knew that we were lying down for a multitude of good reasons. We trusted our teacher and knew that each exercise brought us closer to our own inner calm as well as an experiential understanding of what worked for us. When we shared afterwards with the group, we learned how others responded. Each exercise was more than worth doing.

Thus, each activity I bring to my grade 8 students widens my understanding of how this age group responds. Whether I hear an ‘Ah’ or ‘Ew’, all are valid. My task is to reflect back to them and offer them a chance to experience their response, to linger within it, not just run the other way.

After the first few cups of tea, we dealt with the all important topic of who I’ll allow into the group during the upcoming semester. I assured them that I had made it known that our enrollment number was limited due to the size of our Relaxation Room. I also told them that in the end, it was not my decision but rather  up to the Official Grade 8 Workshop Administration!  Nonetheless, this exclusivity of who would be in the group continues to intrigue them.

Our final collective activity was inspired by R’s fascination with the paper cut-out art on the wall of the Relaxation Room. We agreed we’d work on cut-outs and make a group poster.

This was work that they all loved. Dear teachers, consider including more hands-on kindergarten style crafts. Let them play. It’s one of the most enjoyable activities, I’ve discovered. Although they didn’t enjoy the music I’ve provided, or the attempt to mask dank room smells with gentle aromatic incense, they simply enjoy opportunities to create. Given time, space and supplies, they leave each session relaxed.

This was a fascinating group of students.

For the future

I have plans!

I am going to implement the one-minute-relaxation session from the start. With each successive month, I will be able to add another minute, or even 30 seconds. I now know that baby steps are valid.

Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful day!

Judih