Thoughts After the 2021-22 School Year

Mandala Situations

This past school year was fascinating. Not only did I show up once a week to work with each of the seventh grade classes, but I also had the privilege of working with those in the eighth grade who chose to learn mindfulness each week.

I found patterns of behaviour in the classes that showed up as those respecting one another, and able to listen and accept another’s point of view, to those who did what they could to make noise, to deliberately cause torment to others.
The wonderful kids from the small Special Ed class found themselves enjoying the creation of meditation cushions. Other classes enjoyed the challenges of making origami lotus flowers, or working on a special dance challenging their coordination.
But the very favorite exercise in every one of my classes involved mandalas.

The exercises took various forms.
The first exercise involved the following: choosing only one coloured marker, and one mandala outline and then listening to the instructions. They were to start colouring until the sound of the tibetan singing bowl. Upon hearing it, to put down the marker and pass their drawing to the pupil sitting on their right. I encouraged them to add their own personality to the drawing and/or to inject a little beauty if they wished. After the initial shock of hearing the bell and being told to stop working, even if they found themselves in the middle of a vital piece of the mandala, the kids accepted the format and got on with the exercise. At the end they’d receive the drawing that they’d begun with, come to terms with what had become of it, and then add their own final touches.

Then we’d share how it went.
One of the most dramatic versions of this exercise occurred with the Eighth Graders. I put on Zubin Mehta’s version of Ravel’s Bolero, and I had them work for the duration of each musical phrase. As the music rose in drama, my voice would remind them to pay attention to the contact of the pen in their hands, of their feet on the floor or of their shoulders. I’d remind them to breathe.
By the end of the famous climax to the piece, I’d cheer them to embrace their own drawing, having been through the attentions of the rest of the class, and add their own stamp.
It was marvelous and I was in happy disbelief that the number of participants in that day’s class fit perfectly with the number of phrases in Bolero (They were 18 that day? or 17?).

The mandala exercise. Such a delightful personal yet community activity. My drawing graced by the efforts of others. How does it make one feel? Was there a touch of possessiveness? Or anger? Or other emotions? Each one who wished to share, did so, no pressure, but there were many utterly in favour of doing it again.

I felt that this year’s Mindfulness Course offered a bonding opportunity that had been missing in their lives due to the Covid quarantines and the lack of socialization with their peers. Here was an opportunity through exercises of paying attention, of challenging oneself, of attempting to hold silence or to deliberately play with another, for the kids from their various backgrounds and experiences to join minds and work on self-attention and how to stay calm instead of immediate and uncontrolled blurting out or even smacking their neighbour.
For me, it was an opportunity to attempt to make a difference in their day, to offer them a small pocket of time in which they weren’t being yelled at or criticized.

I received a beautiful letter from one pupil, written in Hebrew and I’ll attach it here with a translation.

To Judih:
Thank you very much for the wonderful year filled with relaxation.

Thank you for making us believe in ourselves and to feel that there’s no one like us. And most importantly, the dry shower that helped to wake us up in the morning.
With love,
The pupils of 7-8 and there’s no one like you!
Super Jody (looks like I’m radiating energy!)

Radiating energy! Helping them believe in themselves! I’d say that it’s a letter worth keeping and this teacher’s dream.
May the summer resume more quietly and with less intense heat and other distractions.

Class Relax for De-stressing

Pre-amble

There is a tense situation in the country. Innocents are on the receiving end of attacks out of the blue: knife attacks, hit and run drivers, suicide bombers.

Revenge takes place – further attacks.

The news media criticizes every action on the part of Israel and somehow neglects to look for the instigating attack on the part of the Palestinians. Our PR people are not doing a reasonable job. Cause and effect is a very simple path to trace these days.

Yes, Israelis are living in the West Bank. Yes, we should get out. Yes, Palestinians need and should get a homeland. Yes!

But why must knives and bombs and death pave the road to something that is inherently good?

Class Relax offers a tool for self-discovery, in the knowledge that in an atmosphere of tension, taking a moment to de-stress, to disconnect from phones, headlines and news is the best way to think more clearly. Clear-thinking is what’s needed, now and always.

I cannot directly reach parents and brothers and sisters but I can reach students in my school. I can offer them a few minutes to concentrate on their own present moment, to feel the sensations in their bodies, to allow themselves to attend to their patterns of breathing. Better still, the support of the whole class along with their teacher, all engaging in the same thing at the same moment elevates this practice to a higher status, even ceremonial.

Students merely need to put away their phones, their music, their distractions in order to address themselves, dedicating a few precious moments to themselves. They need only take a moment to sense their feet on the floor. To check for any tension in their bodies. To feel a fleeting emotion. To notice their thoughts as they come and go. Doing so, they will feel a calm engulfing their bodies and soothing their minds.A moment of noticing is a moment of disengaging from the power of those stories that grab our inner attention.  These thoughts are merely thoughts. They are not ‘me’.  This, then is a classic de-stress technique. Making the separation between thoughts and me. 

And so we de-stress and come to a more clear state of being.

This is what we did in the Grade 9 class. This is what can be done in any class at any time. The 3-minute breathing exercise.

Safat haKeshev – Language of Attentiveness Session

This week Class Relax had an obstacle. There had been a sudden claim on our Relaxation Room, and no one could promise for certain that we’d have a suitable space to hold our session. While looking for a solution, I went to to meet my pupils to inform them of our plight. There I found the group, waiting quietly along with a new pupil, just back from Thailand. He knew about meditation and was glad to join our group.

Finally we got clearance! A therapist had not shown up and so, we were directed to a second space used for counselling. This room is smaller, without windows, and usually ripe with the smell of mildew. Not ideal, but there we were. I suggested that on the way, we take the opportunity to notice our feet touching the ground and to walk in silence.

Walking mindfully

This very practical directive is something I practice to add mindfulness to the daily back-and-forths within a very large school campus.

We arrived at the room and discovered that prior to our arrival, mice had been running around. Along with stale mildew smell, we had some mouse aroma.

The kids seemed relatively unperturbed. One girl chose to sit on a regular chair rather than on the pouf. And we began.

We started with a few minutes of noticing our breathing (strangely enough, once we’d acknowledged the mouse stink, it ceased to hold us captive).

Then we played a game: “How do I do everyday things?”

How do I put on my shoe? I asked them to think of the steps they take. All the steps. When they had, I asked them to guide someone else to perform the action. That person would have to do follow the instructions precisely, without improvisation or guesswork.

J went first. He guided N to pick up the shoe and slip it on his foot. N decided to ask what kind of shoe and therefore realized that two steps were enough.

I reminded them of the rules of the game.  No questions, no improvisations. One person had to direct the other in exactly what had to be done. R took his turn. He guided M and was a little more thorough and M seemed to get the gist.

Next task: How to make a capital A.

N decided to guide J. N always brings his own flavour to the tasks. He directed J to make a triangle on the page. Then he directed him to extend the lines down. J didn’t get it. N told him to make a triangle with his arms and think of lines coming down from his elbows. J didn’t get it.

Meanwhile, R got it. M got it. Only J decided to forego the instructions and simply re-do the A in a way that pleased him.

Interesting!

What did you notice, I asked J.

J shrugged. “I didn’t know what he was asking me to do.”

“What about you two?” I asked M and R.

M said that she finally understood what N was getting at. R agreed.

N was speaking from one point of view and J from another.

“Perhaps”, I suggested, “we find it hard to listen to someone when we have our own ideas. Is that possible?”

“It depends when,” said N. Then he brought up a problem he had in class. A certain teacher never listened to him. She never showed him respect. Even when he was right! He gave an example of a fact that she had mentioned in class and how he had knowledge of something else. The teacher had decided that he was a troublemaker and had shut him down.

N was angry.

We spoke of anger. We spoke of different perspectives. We spoke of not exactly knowing what the other person was going through. Maybe they’d had a rough day. Maybe we misinterpreted. Look at the exercise with the letter A. Not everyone understands things the same way.

This was too abstract. Clearly N was still very annoyed. “That teacher just hates me”, he said.

“Have you ever met that teacher when she acted a different way with you?” I asked.

“Yes”, said N. “I met her at the supermarket. But I was with my mother, and suddenly the teacher was so nice!”

“Could it be that in different surroundings, the teacher feels differently? Could it be that out of school, out of a place where there’s tension, she feels more relaxed?”

“Has anyone here had any experience of making someone feel less angry?”

“Yes”, said R.

“What did you do?”

“Nothing. I just did nothing. And they got less angry!”

“That’s good!” I said. “Sometimes, nothing is exactly the thing to do!”

” And how can we do nothing?”

We spoke of using the breath to disconnect from the situation. How practicing noticing our breathing can give us a few seconds to ourselves.

And with that, we transitioned to doing our body scan meditation.

The instructions were to get comfortable on their backs. The boys were fine with reclining on the poufs. M, the girl, remained seated in her chair. To get a faint glint of light in the room, I turned off the overhead lights and opened the door to the corridor ever so slightly, just enough to allow me to see where to walk without tripping on a child.

I guided them to notice their bodies from the soles of their feet up to their heads. We took a leisurely pace, about 15 minutes, and then slowly transitioned onto our sides and then back to sitting, fully present to our bodies and surroundings. All of us made the transition except for N. He was heavily into relaxation, coma style.

The rest of us moved to taking a seat at the table. I brought out beautiful coloured markers and gave them a choice of two mandalas – one curvy and one more geometric. They chose and began. The directive was to let themselves go, be free with their colouring and to refrain from speaking.

Mandala for mindful colouring

After 5 minutes, N awoke with a start. “Where’s Judih?” he asked. He was surprised that he’d fallen asleep but gathered himself up to come to the table. He chose his mandala and joined in colouring.

After 10 minutes of silent colouring, I broke the silence and asked them to consider what they had learned that day, N said that he had learned that he could fall asleep just like that!

I gave them homework: to take the time everyday to be aware of 5 breaths. I recommended they do it in the morning, first thing, but also any other time they think of it.

This was something that could be done invisibly. No one else would have to know!

And that was that.

Next session: Mandala colouring to be continued.

Further exercises to get to know ourselves and offer ourselves compassion

 Please, feel free to comment, ask questions. Class Relax is a process in continual discovery!

June Workshop: Language of Attentiveness

Meeting number 4 of 8th grade Workshop

What happens when five students who really want to do meditation come to a workshop offering them meditation? It works! The teacher offers and invites, the students accept and try and learning occurs.

Thus was my session this past Thursday.

sitting circle (mindful kids)

We began our session siting on the comfortable bean bag chairs in a circle. Getting comfortable, we simply began to informally notice our breathing. Not talking just for the sake of talking but doing active listening, to really be there when someone says something.

“Isn’t it good to know that you’re being listened to?”

We did a mindful count of 10 breaths. I invited them to close their eyes, to count in their own rhythm, to use our technique of one finger to count each total breath.

“How was it?”

“Relaxing”, several said.

The next step was to notice our breathing for 3 minutes, using the singing bowl as an aid to keep us focused.

Tibetan Singing Bowl

I gave them the signal and let the singing bowl vibrate, I offered scaffolding, reminders to let the air out, and in.  At the end of each minute, I rang the bowl, and guided:”Notice yourself as you breathe”

or as Simi Levi-Yeshuvi says: “What happens between breaths?”

And another ring of the singing bowl.

At the end of 3 minutes, I gave them the signal to slowly come back, to open their eyes. We stretched.

I asked how it was. Some said it was good. One said it seemed so long. One said she nearly fell asleep. Yes, falling asleep – well known side effect. Sometimes given a chance the body dozes off. This is interesting and we notice it.

Perhaps next week we’ll try four minutes.

The next phase was to actively energize the body, through t’ai chi warm-ups and some chi cong and then we’d be working on mandalas.

Each mindfully found a spot on the floor, enough space between them, standing up facing me and I led them through warm-ups and then 5 of the 8 pieces of Brocade (a wonderful Chi Cong cutta) and we started to notice the yin and yang of the body positions.

Eight Pieces

We cooled down.

I directed them to take the mountain pose, standing straight and balanced and asked them to notice their bodies. If they felt good, or if something hurt them. A few said that their bodies were sore and I invited them to give themselves a small massage. When two commented that it was their backs, I suggested group massage. We stood in a circular chain and worked on the backs of the one in front.

Sighs of happiness were heard. One student complained of a sore upper arm, so with the permission of the one I was massaging and of the other student, I worked on the sore arm. I told the students to let their fingers feel the reaction of the other’s body. Usually the body gives signs if it’s responding well – to notice. What do you mean, ‘feel the other’? asked one girl. Let your fingers pick up the information. And suddenly the one with the sore arm, said “Yo! it doesn’t hurt anymore”.

“You cured him!” said one girl.

“It’s not magic, it’s letting the fingers listen,” I commented.

With that, I invited them to take a seat around the table and I brought over mandalas, pastels, coloured pens and markers.

Mystical Mandala Colouring book

Each student picked a mandala. I invited them to colour in silence for a minute. As they chose colours and worked on their designs,  I joined in (how wonderful was that!). After one minute had passed, I asked them how it was. ‘Relaxing’ they said, and we continued. After another few minutes, I stopped them. “Stop!” I said (no warning). Then, “How did it feel to be stopped?”

“Annoying.”  “Frustrating.”

“Interesting,” I said. “Let’s continue.” Then after a tiny while: “How does it feel to be allowed to continue?”

“Good.”  “Relaxing.”

“Where do you feel it in your body?”

“My heart.”

“My head.”

We continued.

I warned them that in a few minutes, we’d have to stop and it’d be time to get ready to leave.

“Can we continue?” asked one girl.

“Yes, next week. But notice that this moment will never come back. Next week, we’ll have different circumstances. You’ll feel differently and things will change. We’ll notice next week!”

She nodded, pleased with a promise of more time next week.

The signal was given. We admired each of the mandalas as I collected them. We put things away, put on our shoes and said goodbye till next week.

Next week we’ll wrap up what’s been experienced and see what’s made an impression.

You’re welcome to stay tuned!

Of course, all comments, questions, suggestions are invited. Our kids are our future.