Thoughts After the 2021-22 School Year

Mandala Situations

This past school year was fascinating. Not only did I show up once a week to work with each of the seventh grade classes, but I also had the privilege of working with those in the eighth grade who chose to learn mindfulness each week.

I found patterns of behaviour in the classes that showed up as those respecting one another, and able to listen and accept another’s point of view, to those who did what they could to make noise, to deliberately cause torment to others.
The wonderful kids from the small Special Ed class found themselves enjoying the creation of meditation cushions. Other classes enjoyed the challenges of making origami lotus flowers, or working on a special dance challenging their coordination.
But the very favorite exercise in every one of my classes involved mandalas.

The exercises took various forms.
The first exercise involved the following: choosing only one coloured marker, and one mandala outline and then listening to the instructions. They were to start colouring until the sound of the tibetan singing bowl. Upon hearing it, to put down the marker and pass their drawing to the pupil sitting on their right. I encouraged them to add their own personality to the drawing and/or to inject a little beauty if they wished. After the initial shock of hearing the bell and being told to stop working, even if they found themselves in the middle of a vital piece of the mandala, the kids accepted the format and got on with the exercise. At the end they’d receive the drawing that they’d begun with, come to terms with what had become of it, and then add their own final touches.

Then we’d share how it went.
One of the most dramatic versions of this exercise occurred with the Eighth Graders. I put on Zubin Mehta’s version of Ravel’s Bolero, and I had them work for the duration of each musical phrase. As the music rose in drama, my voice would remind them to pay attention to the contact of the pen in their hands, of their feet on the floor or of their shoulders. I’d remind them to breathe.
By the end of the famous climax to the piece, I’d cheer them to embrace their own drawing, having been through the attentions of the rest of the class, and add their own stamp.
It was marvelous and I was in happy disbelief that the number of participants in that day’s class fit perfectly with the number of phrases in Bolero (They were 18 that day? or 17?).

The mandala exercise. Such a delightful personal yet community activity. My drawing graced by the efforts of others. How does it make one feel? Was there a touch of possessiveness? Or anger? Or other emotions? Each one who wished to share, did so, no pressure, but there were many utterly in favour of doing it again.

I felt that this year’s Mindfulness Course offered a bonding opportunity that had been missing in their lives due to the Covid quarantines and the lack of socialization with their peers. Here was an opportunity through exercises of paying attention, of challenging oneself, of attempting to hold silence or to deliberately play with another, for the kids from their various backgrounds and experiences to join minds and work on self-attention and how to stay calm instead of immediate and uncontrolled blurting out or even smacking their neighbour.
For me, it was an opportunity to attempt to make a difference in their day, to offer them a small pocket of time in which they weren’t being yelled at or criticized.

I received a beautiful letter from one pupil, written in Hebrew and I’ll attach it here with a translation.

To Judih:
Thank you very much for the wonderful year filled with relaxation.

Thank you for making us believe in ourselves and to feel that there’s no one like us. And most importantly, the dry shower that helped to wake us up in the morning.
With love,
The pupils of 7-8 and there’s no one like you!
Super Jody (looks like I’m radiating energy!)

Radiating energy! Helping them believe in themselves! I’d say that it’s a letter worth keeping and this teacher’s dream.
May the summer resume more quietly and with less intense heat and other distractions.

Mindfulness teacher gets fed

The last day of my teaching week was a gift.

I’d been working diligently on myself during the week, doing qigong exercises, working on my puppets, meditating often. I was quieter inside and better able to deal with outer energies.

The pupils also had been given a little more time to deprogramme from the intensity of our latest battleground.

I found the grade 8 students happy to come to mindfulness, delighted with our new space in the ‘Dream’ building. The cushions in the new space are too heavy to toss at one another (a bonus) and also allow arrangement for meditation in a prone position or sitting.

The initial body scan and breathing exercise was a good intro into our sharing session of how they were at the moment and how their week had been. All shared, and though tired, they were not seemingly extraordinarily so.

I next presented them with blank outlines of a face, instructed them to fold it in half, and colour how they felt at that moment on half of the face.  They were to use colour, drawing emotional states, feeling free to explore their imaginations. Lips or eyes were not necessary. They all participated, even those who weren’t terribly into artwork. After the portraits, I gave them a few minutes break for tea and stretching.

Coming back to the space, I led them through some physical exercise – qigong style.  Then I handed out bean bags (lavender/rice) and led them through the Wonderful Waiter. One hand and then the other and putting aside the bean bags, feeling their arms for any differences.  Then, we used both hands at once to revolve our imaginary trays without spilling the contents.

Then it was time to draw their current state on the other half of their portraits.  I reminded them to colour their emotions, sensations and to let their imaginations blossom.

We did a final sharing – how did they feel and how was the session for them. Positive reactions included one boy, G, who told me that he’d been worried when he signed up for Mindfulness. He thought it would be boring. However, he was loving it and it was relaxing and fun and he was really happy to come to sessions.

Another gift for this teacher arrived in the form of 7 boys from last year’s workshop, now in 10th grade, who were facing a Math test, and who asked if I could lead them in a breathing meditation to help them calm down. I was delighted of course. Our old relaxation room happened to be open, they’d checked, and we entered, took our positions on bean bag chairs and I led them through a body scan and full breathing. I helped them transition back to reality with the suggestion that when they needed to feel calm they only had to allow their bodies to come back to the breath.  They thanked me, and I felt encouraged that these boys knew what could help them, and perhaps with some practice, they’ll be able to implement the technique by themselves.

A final lesson of the day also presented opportunities to see that the pupils really valued the lesson – while waiting for a stuck door to be opened, they suggested that we do breathing exercises outside. I was glad to oblige. They were fine and even the ones who weren’t participating were supportive by being quiet.

You win some, you lose some. There’s a koan for you.  Or at least, an adage that seems to say, all things pass, nothing is permanent, yin gives over to yang and back again.

May we be safe, happy and live with ease.

Vaccine Day – Call for Relaxation

Immunization Day

All of the grade 8 kids were being vaccinated, one class at a time. By 10:15, the time for our Meditation class, only 2 girls were post-vaccine. They wanted guided relaxation, a body scan. Waiting a while to see if any others would be charging into the room, I decided to post a sign and begin.

Hi girls!

Please wait outside quietly for a few minutes.

I’ll open the door soon.

And we proceeded. From heels, bit by bit up to the head.

Finally a few huge cleansing breaths from top to bottom  and then the transition back to regular awareness of the room.

I opened the door, the girls were waiting  and agreed to respect those still climbing out of their relaxation.

Our Session Begins

With a promise that there would be another full body scan later on, we began. The topic: everyday memories

I invited them to think of something that they had done that day. I gave them an example of climbing out of bed. One simple act.

I asked them to write it down.

Did they want to share? They did! Most of them wrote down: Getting a vaccination.

“Excellent. Now, let’s go a little deeper.

Write down everything you remember seeing during the event. Just what you saw.” They did.

“Step 2. Write down everything you heard: voices, sounds, etc.

Step 3. Write down things you touched,sensed. If you moved. Temperature.

Step 4. Emotions. How did you feel?”

I watched them write and write. There was no end of details. Many of them were writing with their non-dominant hand due to the vaccination, so that alone was a challenge!

When they were done I asked: “How does the memory now compare to when you first thought about it?”

Responses

“Much richer.”

“As if I’m still there.”

” I remember a lot more than I thought I did.”

My acknowledgement: “When we think about our memory, we recall that it happens in the hippocampus, the part of brain responsible for storing our memory. We are interested in developing that part of the brain. Right? (yes!) The more we notice about an experience, the more details, the more we store in our memory.

Our task is to notice as we experience.

Let’s try something else. We are going to divide into twos. Each partner will think of an experience. One other thing that happened. Partner 2 will ask questions. First, what did you see? When you’re finished with that, what did you hear?  After that, what did you sense? And finally what did you feel. Partner 2 will be a journalist – simply asking questions and writing down the answers. Partner 1, you will not offer any other information, just the answers to the questions.

When you’ve finished, you’ll switch roles. Ready?”

They understood.

The girls proceeded. After they each took a turn, and signalled that they’d finished the exercise, I approached each pair and asked how it was. Most of the girls expressed enjoyment being listened to. The fact that they had been heard by someone who was really listening made the experience a good one. One girl felt an intrusion of privacy – as if the questions were that of a psychologist and that was something she didn’t like.

I asked them which experience was richer for them – remembering their experience by themselves and writing it down or being interviewed by another. Two girls preferred doing the exercise alone – the others preferred being heard by someone else.

In my own mind, I considered the 2 as more introverted, perhaps with poetic, artistic temperaments enjoying the act of self-inquiry, while the others were more socially attuned. Of course, these were the results of that particular day.  Every session shows different aspects.

Sharing

Those who wished to do so, shared with the others. Those who didn’t, simply put their pages in their folders.

Body Scan time

We had 10 minutes for a short, sweet body scan.

Very peaceful, very soothing, for me, as well. (I had a big exciting day ahead of me and truly needed the time to pace myself and let myself enjoy the moment by moment awareness of the body).

I note: teachers of mindfulness reap the rewards. When we share, we receive.

Two more sessions remain till the end of the school year. What should we do for a closing bash? Any suggestions?

from visualparadox.com

When Kids Get the Giggles

In my class in the Language of Attentiveness, I’ve got a core of interested, curious teens. Most of them are fascinated by techniques of how to relax, how to disconnect from outside events and how to listen to their bodies.

Some, however, can not refrain from the impulsive curiousity that prevents them from working with attention. They have urgent questions, the need to pummel the one beside them, fascination at watching everyone else, endless opportunities to escape the self-study that comprises our core work.

What to do with those who cannot self-pause, but who giggle, babble or even jump up to tickle another student who’s lying down to participate in guided imagery?

the pause

Well, there’s one school of thought. This I call the Doron Lavy school of thought. Doron is my esteemed T’ai Chi / Qi Cong teacher. No matter who is chatting, he is focused on the cutta, on the movements we are doing. Not even a blink of the eye. He is in the movement we are doing.

If someone asks a question after the cutta or in the break, he’ll answer. He’ll offer information given by a sensei, or Master teacher who teaches in Japan or another location. He is patient and thoughtful. The Doron Lavie method.

I’ve tried this. I don’t consider tossing out pupils who giggle or interrupt. I choose to remind the group of the task and of the instructions: whether to refrain from talking or to sit quietly. I offer the option of writing down whatever is on their mind if a question pops up and they need to express it.

I do not want negativity in the room. This is the Doron ambience that works so well in the T’ai Chi sessions, Tuesday nights on Kibbutz Nir Oz. (If you’re in the area, contact me!)

This school of thought is clearly best exemplified by Doron, himself, or with students who seriously want to study. In my lessons, it finds particular success amongst pupils possessing the self-discipline to honor another’s personal space, or who can delay a question about where I was born or what I like to do in my spare time.

Those who jump onto another’s mat or who simply must ask their question at that very second,  do not respond well to the Doron Lavie method. As a result, the group suffers.

The other school of thought is to stop all work and physically remove those who are disturbing their classmates. This past Monday, this method was implemented.  After offering 3 chances, all of which found the offenders promising to control themselves, but did not, they were sent out and instructed to return after 10 minutes.

guided imagery

We continued,  happily engaged in relaxation when, after 5 minutes, the door opened and the 3 re-entered. I looked at them and held out 5 fingers and whispered that there remained 5 more minutes to wait. They responded loudly that they wanted to come back in and how they wouldn’t bother us! All exuberant and mood-busting, and totally unaware that there actually was a pre-existing mood in the room..

To re-establish the quiet vibe, I re-signalled that they needed to leave and to wait 5 minutes. Believe it or not, the girls lying down on their mattresses were quite still, their eyes closed. Holding on to the positive mood of the body scan in progress, I insisted that the three leave, which eventually they did.

We continued, then shared what had been experienced during our relaxation. To deepen the relaxed state, I offered them the experience of  feeling the resonating Singing Bowl as placed on backs or bellies.

This was very cool.  The bowl was in place on N’s back when, lo and behold, the 3 girls noisily re-entered, demanding to be heard as they enthusiastically promised to be quiet.

This time I asked them if they wanted to join in the relaxation. They said they didn’t, they’d sit at the side, just sit. I, however, was not interested in further opportunities  to interfere with the calm feeling in the room.

There were clearly two sides: the girls who wanted a safe environment for getting into relaxation and the others who were making them nervous.

The bottom line was clear. This was no time for such dichotomy of behaviour. Only at the discussion stage would such a polarity be positive. We could then discuss our differences towards the work at hand. We could discuss intention and what happens as we begin an exercise. We could discuss differences in attitude.

But during relaxation, the atmosphere needs to be quiet, safe, offering every chance for securely entering the zone of meditation.

So, what to do with gigglers who aren’t sensitive to the needs of the group. Gigglers who don’t quietly dismiss themselves till they can rejoin the group quietly?

Any ideas?

Feel free to add your comments!

by Jill Badonsky

Spoiler alert – two years afterwards,  two of the girls approached me to indicate that they were interested in learning how to relax, how to get in touch with inner quiet.  This was a very welcome interaction and a chance to offer a permanent invitation, that mindfulness knows no deadlines, that the techniques are learnable at any time.

Focus and relaxation

Third Meeting: Exit 2 boys, group of only girls.

Our formal entrance into the large Relaxation Room! Windows, air, space!

Well, not exactly like the picture, but our new room certainly feels this way to me!

Our group sat in our welcoming circle and it was clear that the two boys were not comfortable, that they had arrived without resolve to stay. One boy, J, announced that there were too many people, that he missed the intimacy of our first semester group. N announced that he was leaving because of his unwillingness to be together with certain of the participants. I guided him out as he turned to emphasize his reason for leaving.  My need to counsel him was far less urgent than my need to deal with the words he’d tossed into the room.

My role is to lead these pupils in the practice of mindfulness, to notice what is taking place within their minds and the feelings that arise and so I repeated this to them after the closing of the door.

Certain issues cannot be solved by magic or by the desire to change others. Each must deal with his or her own varieties of input and narrative. The fact that someone accuses someone else of something is a product of their own issues.

G asked me if a teacher calls her ‘cheeky or rude’, is it because she herself is cheeky or rude?

Aha, someone’s been listening. “It could be, but that doesn’t give you a license to behave rudely to her!”

We began with a survey of the homework. Who had managed to notice 20 breaths each morning? A few had. They said that it went okay. One used my reminders on What’s App. One girl said that she started to do the exercise, then got interrupted by someone speaking to her and didn’t go back to it.

“Yes, isn’t that how it is. We resolve to do something, then something happens and we forget or lose track or lose our intention.

It’s not easy to come back, yet that’s what we need to practice. How to come back to our intention even after we’re distracted.”

We began by breathing for the count of 5, using our fingers. They all succeeded. We went to 10. No problem.

I asked them how was it when they sat in a group with others doing the same?

“It’s easier,” someone said.

“Yes, it’s easier when we feel the support of others.”

I told them that we were going to try an exercise in couples. They needed to grab a mat, find a place on the floor. One was to lie down on her back. The other was to sit beside her and simply watch her stomach – the rise and fall as she breathed. If they chose, they could lightly place a hand on her belly. It was up to them. We’d do it for 2 minutes.  Afterwards they’d share how it was and then we’d switch positions.

And off they went. Two minutes of quiet, then sharing. Then they switched. One girl didn’t want to lie down, she observed from the sidelines.  Another girl started giggling as soon as it was her turn to breathe and be observed by her friend.

The others looked over but then went back to the exercise.

The couples shared and then we came back to the group.

“Who wants to share?”

M, the giggly girl wanted to say something. “I started to laugh because T was watching me and it seemed so strange!”.

“How was it for you, T?”

“She was laughing, so I just watched her. I thought maybe she’d stop.”

“It is strange to be watched”, I agreed.  “When in life do we have the opportunity to simply breathe and have a friend watch over us?

Did anyone find it helpful? “

“Yes, it was good. I could concentrate better.” A few nodded.

And so, we came back to the circle. To ourselves. This time, we used the Tibetan Singing Bowl to focus on the sound. I suggested that there might be noises from outside and that was okay, they were to notice them and then come back to listening to the Singing Bowl.

And so it was. Noises from outside. Apparently the 9th grade building has a bustling lobby during classtime.

They shared. Some girls were quite mellow. They weren’t bothered by the noises.

Then, O asked for ‘Relaxation’. She was excited by the notion that we could finally have space to lie down in this new space.

I led them through a short Body Scan. Most of the girls were perfectly still for the 8 minutes that remained of our time together. Towards the end, I indicated that at the signal, they were to slowly roll onto their sides, resting. I signalled, then after a minute or so, I led them through the transition to sitting. I told them they’d soon get up, put away the mats, tie their shoes and quietly leave the room.

Their homework: They were to write me privately in What’s App: “What did you learn today? “

What had I learned? I learned that gentle peacefulness can last more than a few seconds in this workshop. The nature of this group was yet to be determined. Surely some of the pupils would feel freer to show their personalities.

Looking forward to out next class and our first Tea Ceremony. Have a good, safe week.

Teapot! by Jill Badonsky