first aid and other ways to smile – A list of 8 discoveries made during this unusual semester.

a beautiful mosaic ball, artist unknown

It’s been over a month of zoom mindfulness sessions with pupils of Nofei Habsor here in the Western Negev of Israel and what have I discovered?

One – If I, the teacher, love and am grateful for the opportunity to teach mindfulness, it translates well over zoom. The fact that there is budgetary allowance for these lessons, and that I started to teach even before it was officially okay, also adds to the authenticity of the need for these lessons. The fact that I was able to bring sincere enthusiasm to my pupils is something they’ve responded to.

Two – pupils ask for what they need. I am asked for specific exercises, showing me that the kids know what helps them these days. “When will we do guided meditation?”
“I love the music you played at the beginning of the lesson, it calmed me.” “I am doing the five-breath meditation and like doing it with you or the clip you sent us.” They are sharing from the heart, without coercion!

Three – Pupils are observing themselves. After the 5-breath meditation we do together, we all look within to discover if there have been any noticeable changes. Many have been noticing an altered state of being – either more energized or more relaxed or sometimes feeling a temptation to sleep. “Good”, I can respond. “We see that the same exercise offers different results to different people and to ourselves depending on our personal situation when we practice it. Remember that the best time to practice is daily and when a time comes when you feel you need to detach and focus within, you’ll remember how to do the exercise.”

Four – Using the technique of smiling. Smiling at the end of an exercise serves to activate the facial muscles, and then relaxing them and smiling again (like a maniac I say) to come back to a complete relax is enough to alter the physical and emotional mood. Smiling is something you can do, even if we don’t feel like doing so, yet the body responds to the feel good gesture.

Five – Exhaling! Exhaling is first aid. I tell them that I write my name with an ‘h’ at the end – Judih= so that upon being asked my name I can exhale – something that immediately relaxes me. I then suggest that we can all use this technique to relax. I tell them that upon the count of 3, we’ll all exhale together through the mouth or the nose, whatever they choose. Open invitation – even now you who are reading this: “Let’s all do it: 1 – 2 – 3 – exhale. Notice that fresh air comes in automatically, you don’t have to do a thing. One more time, all of us! 1 – 2 – 3 – exhale! And fresh air comes in and we can sit for a moment and allow our breathing to come back to its regular rhythm.” First aid for when things are tough – too many thoughts in our head, or too many distractions, or nervousness before a test, or an overwhelming situation. First aid for treatment on the spot: feel the sensations of the body wherever it is situated and then exhale.

Six – In teaching I need to diversify sensory impressions and experience of the self. Music, breathing, knowledge about what mindfulness is and how it changes our brain – all these things make lessons fun. Each pupil responds to a different form of input, may we never forget all those years of studying Learning Styles! I receive much feedback after lessons, and some kids are stating via questionnaires that they look forward to the lessons, that the lessons are fun. This is valuable feedback.

Seven – I’ve been blessed with a personal battery recharger. I love meeting the pupils from the seventh grade classes and returning pupils of the 8th and 9th grades who have chosen to learn mindfulness. For me it’s energizing to present the exercises of mindfulness as well as being a constant challenge to offer a diversity of experiences to intrigue the human beings sitting on the other side of the screen. Love is something that transfers over the net.

Eight – Lest we forget: gratitude for Zoom. Gratitude for the internet connection (never taken for granted). Gratitude to the school scaffolding to support this online learning.

This online teaching is continually offering new challenges which help me grow in my own practice. I’ve discovered that teaching mindfulness online offers an energizing and uplifting opportunity to those pupils who are open to it, and most definitely to me.
Class Relax is ready for more!
I offer this invitation: Would you or your school like a guest teacher? Be in touch via the comments.

Judih

Class Relax online

Class Relax on Zoom

Preparation has been ongoing with my colleagues in the Non-Profit ‘Safat haKeshev‘ (Language of Attention) since last March, but truly, I’d hoped that it was a skill that would remain on the back burner. However, there I was, creating WhatsApp groups, google classrooms and and intro clip all leading up to my first Zoom sessions yesterday with more to come this week.

You might wonder what sort of preparation goes into a mindfulness lesson. Well, this teacher of mindfulness is hoping to offer a feng shui experience to pupils overloaded with Zoom-learning.

With welcome bits of digital decoration via bitmojis and tutorials (like EZ Ed tech or Digitally Yours with Adele) on tricks to make zoom life easier, how to use virtual backgrounds, combing through sundry suggestions of apps that might work for mindfulness, and then constant experimentation to discover what suits me, my well-known propensity for creating and then re-doing powerpoint presentations has filled up these busy few weeks.

Judih bitmoji breathes out, breathes in

And then Class Day arrived!

The zoom invitation having been issued, I re-issued it and then witnessed questions like “What?- is it today?” and a few last minute joiners needed to receive private invitations and finally, I anticipated my first Grade 8 mindfulness 2-hour workshop to begin at 8:40 a.m. (a little early for these kids, I thought). Yet of the 9 who had signed up to participate, I welcomed 15. This was to be a continuing trend as I saw with the grade 9 class which followed at 10:20. The original group of 18 magically became 27 names in the Zoom room.

Tech info: The hours of preparation resulted in my being able to use my powerpoint slide presentation either as a background (during which I appeared as a small screen in front of the slide) or via ‘shared screen’. During both scenarios I had a few surprises. My ‘wheel of names’ an app offering a wheel which upon clicking rotates until stopping at a given point, didn’t work as background, but did as I shared my screen.

Note to self: annotation only works in ‘shared screen’ mode (which I guess I could have guessed beforehand).

However, in favour of ‘sharing powerpoint as background’, I loved that presenter in front of the slideshow look. I felt almost pro, as if I knew what I was doing.

Surprises that had nothing to do with me: Kids turned off their cameras which apparently is their go-to way of Zooming. Truthfully, my University daughter had informed me that of course they would zoom that way. My asking for feedback several times indicated that a majority of the participants were, in fact, present!
During the second half of the lesson when I divided them into breakout rooms to discuss their expectations for our mindfulness semester, I saw who was actually present, so that helped me as a teacher.

Good points? I had fun. I was feeling the first day of school excitement, and I was interested to see what worked and what didn’t. Also, I knew beforehand that hearing their expectations would focus us all on how to use this platform to fulfill their needs.
Points for improvement? Deciding if I can adjust to feeling more at ease with those black screens with names (like masks over the masks in a way) or if I need more visual information and if so, how to get it. I have a few ideas involving sending me private whatsapp images of a task which I’ll assign during the lesson.

Thoughts? I wonder how many other mindfulness teachers are working with Junior High students via Zoom. How are they finding things?

This week, I’ll meet the 7th grade students for the first time. I have 3 classes to experience but only of one hour each. Then we’ll slowly move through a semester that will last till the end of January.

Ohm and may we enjoy our time to use Zoom to relax and focus within.

From restlessness to post-war to usual routine – this last week of February

This past week’s Class Relax experiences:
1. Sunday – regular class, end of day, 7th graders’ attempt to allow their bodies to relax
2. Monday and some of Tuesday – Schools, roads shut down.
3. Wednesday, post-war – grateful 9th grade pupils surrender their bodies to relaxation
4. Thursday, story-telling – 7th graders noisiness subsides as puppets retell a story

The last week of February is always an interesting time of year as the anemones blur into the delicate narcissus blooms and yellow mustard flowers carpet the fields. As I met the pupils this week to facilitate Class Relax, I knew to expect fresh energies of springtime. And we enjoyed those energies Sunday afternoon.  I didn’t know, of course, that the week would suddenly change gears, with a barrage of rocket fall on our area Sunday night, requiring us to stick close to safety. It took 2 days until a true ceasefire allowed us to come back to our usual routines. I felt exhausted and I could only guess the condition of my pupils. Wednesday’s pupils wanted to indulge their need for relaxation. Then along came Thursday, and it was business, noisy business, as usual!

Monday, Tuesday, we were all at home or away from the area.
During times of war, when I can’t speak to individual pupils, I send out recorded meditation guidance as first aid. What’s App is my fastest vehicle to reach past and current groups of pupils as well as to their Homeroom teachers. There is also an open invitation to call or write me for individual guidance. I often receive thank you notes and comments that the recording helped. Sometimes a reminder that focusing on breathing can help quieten the mind, even for a minute or two, is enough to help.

Back to Class Relax in school

Wednesday’s school schedule was disrupted to allow for in-class conversations and time to play chess, volleyball and allowing for opportunities to let out steam and reunite with friends. The hour for the 9th grade Mindfulness class, however, saw us all back in the Relaxation Room of the Dream Building. The couches were quickly dismantled to allow for stretching out. Some chose to sit, one wished to stand.

After a few minutes of allowing ourselves to be still, we took time to assess our current states of mind, body and feelings, and shared with the group. I assured them that as we went through the body scan, and then guided meditation, as we noticed tensions, thoughts or sensations we were to treat ourselves kindly: to accept what we observed and to open our hearts to ourselves.

Self-compassion.

Some pupils asked for permission to draw rather than lie back – and this they did. This active self-exploration is a wonderful calming tool and good that they recognized their personal need.

And then we began, noticing our body breathing and directing the breath to our body parts from our feet up to our waists, then torsos and arms and finally allowing the breath to energize the head. We used a long cleansing breath, exhaling out all remaining worries or thoughts and refilling, refueling with fresh energy-filled air.

We allowed our body to come back to normal breathing and then I began the guided imagery: starting at their front doors earlier this morning when they had gathered everything they needed and set out on their way to school. I asked them to retrace their steps slowly as they got to their bus or car, closing the door, sitting down and driving to school. I asked them to carefully recall one thing they’d seen on the way that caused them to smile. It might have been a flower, a pet, a person, or anything at all. When they’d found that image, I asked them to signal me by raising one finger. I then asked them to continue their journey to school until they reached the front gate. I asked them to allow themselves to re-visit that image, to allow themselves to experience it in their minds, sensing the sensations, giving in to the smile. This, then was their positive image to hold within their hearts, always there for the nourishment it offered.

As usual, I mentioned that shortly we’d hear the sound of the Tibetan Singing Bowl which would indicate time to move our hands, our fingers, our arms. To come back to our bodies, opening eyes last and then stretching ourselves back to the current reality.

Relex (sic) love yourself always

After a short break, we re-entered the zone of relaxation and this time, I led them through a short self-compassion meditation. We used the repetition of phrases of self-nurturing as our anchor of attention. I suggested offering ourselves peace, safety and happiness or any other phrases that might suit them. After a few minutes, I asked them to think of someone who inspired them, who caused them to smile when they thought of them, and when they had someone like that, to signal by raising and then lowering their fingers.  That person was then invited to appear fully in their imagination and then the same nourishing wishes were offered to them. Afterwards, we came back to ourselves wishing ourselves another round of self-compassion. Slowly, we came out of the state, with the sound of the bowl.

Tibetan Singing Bowl

I guided them through stretches, asking them not to talk, not to expend the energy they’d collected. (It sometimes happens that they actually refrain from talking). Those who were in comfortable sleep, needed encouragement to shake themselves out of it. (Which I offered, instead of the typical peer-style clonk on the back).

All such guided meditation sessions need careful transitions back to the waking state, to allow for enough clarity to navigate their way back to class! And so we stretch, doing some moves to encourage blood flow. We end with a Dry Shower to lightly drum on the body, in a regulated pattern, and then deep breathing with sounds on the exhales and a culminating self-hug with “There’s nobody like me!”  and a thank you to all for coming together.

Thursday

Grade 7 was a different story. First lesson of the day – 18 pupils (which is half of the class), sitting in a circle. I welcomed them by asking them to listen to the Singing Bowl. Quiet was attained, and I passed around the Talking Piece asking them to give their names and how they felt at that moment.  In a very short while, noisy nodes appeared in the room: two groups of chattering boys. I noticed and proceeded with the go-to physical equalizer of the Wonderful Waiter. Most participated, except for a few of the noisy boys (hints of Murphy’s Law at play).

The Wonderful Waiter hang drum/harp

Back to our seats, I asked one of the chattering boys in confidentiality if he’d yet heard the story of the wanderer and the village. He said he hadn’t and so, I brought out my story-telling persona.

The story is a beautiful example of how mind-set operates. It’s an ancient tale, brought to my attention by the good folks at Mindfulness Without Borders. I told the tale of how long ago, people explored the world on foot, and how one day, a wanderer reached the stone arches of a village. As the story goes, he meets a very old woman sitting on a bench outside the gate and they converse. The next day, a second wanderer appears and re-visits the same conversation with a very different point of view.

At the end of the story, which clearly I have not spoiled for you here, I asked what the story signified. This time I received three similar answers, each pupils insisting that their way of phrasing was unique and demanding to be heard. The chattering boys were unconvinced. I offered them the free card of escape – back to their classroom if they felt they couldn’t keep quiet. They didn’t accept, but some of them moved to different places.
Convinced I had hope of continuing, I asked for 3 volunteers, and lo and behold, the same ones who had spoken up about the message of the story jumped up to accept the challenge. I pulled out 3 puppets and told them how to wear them on their hands and to select who would be the very old woman, and who would be Wanderers 1 and 2.

Then the story was re-told. We improvised an afterward and then with the ringing of the Singing Bowl, we collected the puppets and indulged in a Dry Shower to end the lesson.

This teacher was grateful to be able to leave our totally fortified building to venture out into the pastoral sunshine. The week was draining, the pupils demanding and my personal reservoir insufficient to brush it off. I needed a Thursday to bike ride and commune with the budding flowers and green carpets of wheat.

Class Relax is pleased and privileged to be able to serve – yet, this weekend came just in time!

Second Semester of Mindfulness

Nofei Habsor, Western Negev, Israel

Second Semester of Mindfulness lessons has begun.

In meeting my new group of 9th graders, I discovered that 9 of them are those who participated during the First Semester!

Total enrollment of 21 pupils, even though I set a maximum of 15. The room has limitations and so does the harmony of a group. But 21 pupils were chosen out of many who wished to sign up. What’s a facilitator to do?

I know how this facilitator feels: gratitude for interest in what is being offered, appreciation that Nofei Habsor and Keren Karev (an educational fund that allows for informal education within the framework of regular school hours) are sponsoring these sessions, and humility that I may open some doors to cultivate more awareness of self in these teens.

We shall see as the lessons unfold and we delve into self-acceptance, mindful listening, mindful speaking and compassion. Many of the pupils have asked for calming down techniques, and these exhausted kids aren’t kidding.

May we be healthy, happy and live in peace.

birth of a butterfly, judih circa 2005

Class Relax explores the Senses

The lovely students of Grade 9 arrived at the appointed hour in our cozy Relaxation room. They removed shoes, silenced their phones and selected a place to sit.

What are we doing today?

“I” asked: Did you bring the kalimba?
“A” asked: Will we be drawing?

I answered: Today we will be working with our senses.

“Y” said: taste?

I answered: Also taste.

The kids were into it.

We sat, worked with simple breathing exercises such as the finger train – going up and down the five fingers with the in breath and out breath.

We did some simple qigong breathing exercises. And then we surveyed the room to share our state of being and how our week had been.

The room took on a feeling of listening and mutual interest.

We began with taste.

I offered each one a date and we experienced the sensation in the hand, the texture, the temperature, the colour, the weight. We held it up to our nose to smell the date. We touched it to our lips for a more sensitive feel. Then we put it in our mouth, licked it, took one bite and felt the texture, the sensation on our teeth, the taste and how it travelled down our throat. Those who wanted to, finished it. I collected the seeds and unfinished dates and we washed our hands and sat down.

Some comments: “I don’t like eating this way.” “I like eating this way, it’s cool.”

“I’d never eat anything if I had to eat like this.”

The variation of personalities, again in the spotlight.

Next, we divided into pairs, each receiving a small collection of tactile items. One partner was to experience, with closed eyes, the sensation of each item and give it a rating: 10 for extremely pleasant and 1 for intolerable, or anywhere in between. The other partner was to select each item and touch their partner on their inner arm or cheek, whatever worked.

And they began the experiment. I visited each group. “A” called almost everything a “9”, another “A” called out much lower numbers. The partners switched roles and afterwards made a comparison to see how their ratings compared.

I asked: Why did we do this exercise? Answer: To get to know what we like.

Q: When can we use this in our lives? Answer: When we want to feel nice.

And we stopped for a tea break.

We then moved on to back massages, using small styrofoam balls to exert a kind of acupressure to points on the back. I directed them to gently approach their partner and wait for a kind of “Yes” as to the intensity of touch. The act of massage is a privilege – and an opportunity to really listen to someone else.

We then set aside the balls and wiped clean the back. We used our fingertips to tap on the back – first like raindrops, then drumming. Small fists slow and then faster. And then wrote letters on the back for the partner to guess.

We wiped our backs clean and switched roles.

The atmosphere was relaxed and focused. The students were delighted and felt the nourishment of attention to the body.

A session exploring the sensation of touch, taste and smell is a perfect remedy for hot weather. Also, now into June, school is closing down, the tension of exams is over for these kids, and they need a way to transition into other pursuits.

I invite all teachers to participate in such a session. Returning to the body is a return to the notion of simplicity and inner quiet.

 

Return to quiet

Nofei Habsor school had just resumed after the Army called for a day of school closures in our area. We’d been told that this was a precaution, but of course, that had fed into a feeling of dread.

This session, this new opportunity to sit mindfully, was going to be interesting. Would pupils stay for the lesson? How would they arrive?

I, of course, had overplanned the lesson: listening meditation,  touch-contact meditation, mindful tasting meditation, qigong and delving inside.

All directions were readily available. I only had to see how my pupils arrived. I needed to see if they were jumpy, tired, agitated.  According to the general feeling and sway, I’d work with what I had in my bag of tricks.

Lucky for me, the most eager and open of students arrived first. We began with a sitting meditation based on listening to the sounds around us. When a thought popped in, we covered our ears, and began listening again.  If a feeling, sensation, interrupted our listening, we’d cover our ears and start again.

This meditation I lovingly learned from Thay Doji, the marvellous teacher who had come to offer a Retreat to the Mindfulness-in-Israel community.

The meditation to begin, was wonderful and just what I needed to ground myself. The pupils also responded well.

Then, along came first a few and then a few more pupils. Each brought their own vibe, their own element of readiness for being quiet.

One announced a headache and so, I put away the Tibetan singing bowl, and the idea of having them create an orchestra. I went to the meditation involving touch, sensation. I offered each of them a coin. They were to hold it in their right hand and pay attention to the sensation of the coin – weight, temperature, texture in the palm of their hand. When a thought, emotion or sensation interrupted their attentiveness, they were to switch hands. (Again this was adapted from Thay Doji who had offered us pine cones to hold).

Each pupil offered to the circle their comment on how they felt after the meditation.

Then, hell broke loose as one pupil decided to zip open the stuffed cushions and upon discovering little styrofoam balls within, felt the need to bless us with showerings of the stuffing.

He and his friend cleaned up the mess, while I choreographed the use of a shovel to remove it all from floor, from clothes to the garbage bin.

Comic relief? Movement meditation?

I showed them the clip “The Unwelcome Party Guest“. My intention was to have them start to deal with unwanted emotions, uninvited interruptions. The message of the clip is more or less to let go of resistance and accept. (I had hoped that they saw that in me so far)

It was time for tea! R, the cushion “unzipperer” had brought us a new teapot and we enjoyed some delicious spearmint green tea. A had brought cookies and we took our nourishment.

I took the chance to ask them 3 questions from the Discovering Inside questionnaire, from ‘Mindfulness Without Borders.’

• What sound do you love? 

Drums, my own voice, laughter

• What sound do you hate?

Woman’s shrill scream,  when ‘x’ speaks,

• What are your strengths? (This was a hard question)

My ability to think, my compassion, the strength of my legs, I don’t know

Teatime over, I invited them to stand up and realign our energies with some qigong warm-ups.  Though gentle, two of the kids, preferred to fall back into the beanbag chairs!

I brought them back down and invited them to get comfortable for a relaxation meditation.  I decided to have them pay full attention to their bodies and breath. They had managed somehow to quieten down, which surprised me, and I touched the foot of one boy who simply couldn’t stop talking, to remind him that we were to just be, without speaking.

This is a group of mixed energies – the majority showing signs of living life along with a constant chatter. Having just been through intense days of uncertainty and possible escalation of war, these teens were even more remote from inner peace. Each session feels like I’m starting from the beginning.

We ended this session with sitting and applying our Dry Shower – this is a technique of patting our energies into place and ending with 3 breaths. We then wished ourselves a “Wonderful Day”, and left with a feeling of it’ll be okay.

I hope! Our next session will be in one month, after the Passover vacation. May we all have peace and find inner relaxation.

Second Semester, 2nd Meeting

We meet on Thursdays, the end of the school week, a wonderful time for 9th graders to ponder their week and to clear their heads.

This new group is still evolving; out of the original 15 pupils, one girl left, another boy arrived. There was a scurrying for bean bag chairs as each found a comfortable place in the circle.

After reviewing the rules of the sessions, we practiced Take Five, a short 5 breath meditation, a basic tool for pupils to use in their daily lives.
We took stock of how we felt, how our past week was and 
then checked our current level of attention to our surroundings. With closed eyes, what colour was the door to the room, colour of my shirt, colour of their cushions, colour eyes of the person beside them.

We watched a short clip of surfers surfing huge waves, spilling, and trying again. Jon Kabat-Zinn’s quote: “You can’t control the waves, but you can learn how to surf.”

We had our first official teabreak: Green tea with lemon grass.

The Chinese teapot on the white background

We spoke of how during these sessions, unlike any other lessons in school, we were offering ourselves the chance to get to know what’s going on inside ourselves. Our chance to pay attention to our thoughts, feelings, sensations.
They each found a comfortable position and I led them through a body scan. To revive ourselves, to get ready for transitioning to life outside the meditation zone, we did some qigong exercises, and finished with a dry shower to tap our energy back into place.

A What’s App group was created, meant for respectful messages such as reminders of homework (doing Take Five for example).
We parted, they thanked me saying they really enjoyed the session.
This I was happy to hear, since as a new group, they are just beginning to learn to speak only when holding the talking piece, how to allow themselves to be still, not to interrupt someone else.

This week, our area near the Gaza border underwent the noise of rocketfall and counterattacks. I sent instructions for Take Five to the kids via What’sApp.

One student thanked me and said it helped. Others sent messages of giggles and making fun. After observing that trend, I closed the option of their sending messages in our group. (They have alternate ways to communicate).

The next day, I gave them authorization to message the group, but so far, no one’s used the option!

Quiet and peaceful somewhere, at least!
This week, we’re continuing the theme of listening to one another. Slowly, the group will become cohesive, in its own way, in its own time. Fascinating process!

Compassion

We’re into our final month of this semester’s Meditation workshop.

And it’s time to reinforce important elements we’ve touched on.
Time to work on Compassion (“metta” in Pali), empathy, and to review techniques for being mindful in the moment.

We reviewed “Take 5” – using our fingers to mark each completed breath, each finger counts “take one”, breath – “take two”, and so on.

We reviewed our qigong exercises for energizing the body, to free blockages and  to feel qi (energy) flowing throughout our physical forms.

We engaged in a breathing exercise and then began our Metta meditation. First we repeated phrases to ourselves: May I be healthy, may I be safe, may I live with ease.

We then thought of another, someone who inspires us, someone who brings a smile to our face when we think of him, her or even it (a beloved animal).  Then we thought of someone with whom we have difficulty, and to them we offered the same wishes: May you be healthy, be safe, live with ease.
We completed the meditation by returning to ourselves, one more helping of compassion to reinforce our self-care.

We opened our senses, listening to one another in a group orchestra of kalimba, tibetan gongs, singing bowl and puppets, which sang when cued to perform!

And then we formed a group train, to massage the back of the one in front of us, and then switching direction,  to be aware of sensation – offering and receiving.

Each Thursday this wonderful gift, each participant acting as giver and  receiver.

I never fail to learn something new from these pupils.

 

Not working, not doing

Working on not working.

What is that?

How about this: relaxing and allowing ourselves to be in silence.

We come to a meditation session. We take off our shoes, find a comfortable spot in the circle, and we are ready for ‘it’ to begin.

The teacher observes that the circle is maintained, in spite of latecomers who would rather sit outside of the circle.

The teacher takes the Singing Bowl, offers the signal that we are now in session.

Rules are re-stated, discretion promised and we offer people to share their thoughts about their week or anything else that came up during the week after our last session on ‘anger’.

When I give the signal, we stop and reflect with 3 mindful breaths.

We stop for a moment and reflect on our breathing, on any thoughts or feelings that arise.

We shed our normal tendency to rush to the next activity and we choose to be in the moment.

Not working. It isn’t our natural way of living. We need to work on it.

I wanted to read aloud a passage from Gary Gach‘s “Pause, Breathe, Smile“.

by Gary Gach

I chose to read the short passage about him reading a spiritual book on a bus. About how crowded it was and how normally he would pre-plan his exit so as to move smoothly through a sardine-packed group of passengers. This time, however, lost in thought concerning the words he’d been contemplating, he suddenly noticed that his stop was the next one. In his hurry, making his way out between standing passengers, he heard an “Ouch”. He looked and discovered he’d stepped on a man’s toes. Gary sputtered out his apology but the man,  eyeing him up and down, noticed the book Gary was holding and  dismissed the so-called apology.

Reality check. It’s not enough to meditate or read spiritual books, we need to be in the present moment.  As Gary said, all those lofty words in his book turned to mere ink on paper. Gary reports how ‘demolished’ he felt at that moment, but his only choice was to carry on. There was no repairing the past.

Gary writes: The lesson learnt at that moment in the bus: “Be here now.”
When we truly notice what’s going on in our minds, bodies and emotions in the present moment, we can allow for another person’s existence. We are able to listen with attention and hear the differences in another’s way of expressing him/herself.
We might laugh if another’s response comes as a surprise,  we may be taken aback or even shocked, but in coming back to truly paying  attention to our own breathing, our own reactions, we can begin to ‘hear’ someone else.

We used the Singing Bowl as a tool to try this out.

I gave the signal and we took 3 mindful breaths. Then I illustrated two ways of inviting the sound of the singing bowl: a clear and definitive strike with the mallet, or a circular gesture in a constant rhythm to encourage a growing sound.

Each of us took a turn inviting the bowl to ring. We listened and signaled when we could no longer hear the sound. Then, it was silently passed to the person on our right. When we’d all taken a turn, we paused to consider what we’d noticed.

Everyone made a different sound! N had received applause for his circular sound-making skill! Others had a different sound come forth when they tried.

Here we found clear evidence to help us realize our differences in our approach, in our choices. We experienced first-hand how we each have our way of dealing with the world.

And we can respect the fact that we do what we do out of good intentions.
When we step on someone else’s toes, we are forced to discover that we are not truly in sync with our surroundings.  (Even if we believe that we are).

So, we notice and we continue, a little more humble, a little more aware of toes wherever they may be! 

 

What about our Anger?

And what about our anger?

We began our session with some mindful breathing. And with the invitation that whenever we heard the sound of the singing bowl, throughout our 90 minute lesson, we would be enjoying 3 mindful breaths.

Turning off the lights, I invited the pupils to remember one event during the past week in which they felt anger. I asked if they’d each found an event. To the few who hadn’t, I suggested they go further into their past. They each had a memory. I guided them to remember how it felt, where they felt it in their bodies. Then, to allow themselves to linger with the sensations. I then requested to keep the silence, turning on the lights, I passed out large sheets of white paper and asked them to pick a marker.

They were to envisage the anger, the shape, the size and then to draw it on the page.

When they finished, I invited sharing about feeling the anger and about how it was to place it on the page.

The next step was to take their page and pass it to the person on their left. They’d be given time to add something to their neighbour’s work. We went round and round with a few pauses for the singing bowl and 3 mindful breaths.

I was fascinated how very focused each of them was on the page, on adding their own touches, and how interested in who had done what. There were quiet sounds of enjoyment. When each person got to their original drawing, I invited them to simply look at their pages. Again, there were smiles and interest.

All the pages got placed in the center of the room, and we took a tea break (sage for some, regular tea for others), and allowed ourselves to take a little distance from the experience.

Resuming the session, I invited people to speak about the experience.  Why they thought I had brought them this exercise.

Using the talking piece, a few boys spoke for the first time since we’d begun this workshop.  How it was cleansing for them.  How one boy had felt like he’d been through therapy when he sketched out his anger, but interacting with some of the others in the room, his anger was rekindled.

One boy said he was so angry when he thought about a situation, but after he drew it, he felt free of it!  How it didn’t matter any more.

The invitation was to take their drawing if they wished, and then we moved on to a relaxing Body Scan.

The boys ask for this every week, and it has become more and more quiet in the room each time.

We gently transitioned from lying down to sitting and then stretched, shook out our arms, hands and feet and wished ourselves a wonderful day.

Thank you was said to one another. And so it ended.